Every time I sit down to write this blog post, I end up doing something else instead. I find myself reading, yes that’s right, reading. Granted I’m doing it because it makes me all hot and bothered, but hey, I’m still reading. Such good prep for law school. Lolz. If you hadn’t guessed I’m talking about Fifty Shades of Grey.
Yes, that fucking book. Mommy porn. So yah, so sorry I haven’t written in a while but I’m just too busy getting super turned on by the seksiest thing I’ve read since, well, ever. But the longer I wait to write this, the less important what I write becomes– the amount of shit out there on Fifty Shades is epically absurd (almost as many as there are Carly Rae Jepsen covers [blog post coming soon]). It seems everyone and their mom (literally) has an opinion on this scandalous page turner.
But enough about that, lets focus on the important part – what these characters look like… Duh
So Christian Grey turns every lady on with his penetrating eyes and his dark ways, but everyone pictures him just a little but different. I would say this is acceptable except for two reasons. 1 – I clearly have a specific image of him and I know best. 2 – It’s coming out as a movie so there will be an actual Christian soon enough. I am choosing to ignore the horrifying thought that how the fuck are they gonna make it into a movie without either A) ruining it or B) making it a porn. Seriously though?
Buy whatever, I don’t give a shit, I know I’ll see it anyway. So below I’ve given you my short list of people who I want to play Christian Gray and also, very important, though everyone tends to only be concerned with Christian, Anastasia. Because lets be honest, nothing will make me angrier than seeing some acteess who I hate having seriously steamy dirty sex with someone like Alexander Skarsgard. Clearly a movie ruiner.
I know there’s a ton of seksi dudes out there, Ryan Gosling, Chase Crawford, the list goes on, but these are my 3 favs…
1. Matt Bomer. Like helllllllllllllo Christian. How are you today? Seriously though, he is without a doubt my number 1 pick and I honestly think that he might actually be Christian. Turns out this is a true story or something.
2. Alexander Skarsgard. Hi, I’m a dirty sex god worth billions of dollars. See ya….
3. Taylor Kitsch. Oh. My. God. That’s all. Bye.
And now the ladies. Quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done, because seriously, no matter what, I honestly feel I should be Playing Ana. I do in my dreams every night…..
1. Jennifer Lawrence. Well, I am a Hunger Games/Katniss Everdeen obsessor and I honestly think Jennifer Lawrence is the perfect person for Ana. She’s an awesome actress so I’d love to see her do an O on the big screen. Though honestly, with any of those dudes that shouldn’t be too hard.
She can do it up…
And I can 100% see her as an innocent and naive girl.
2. Emma Watson. She won me over as Hermione… so I won’t
completely hate her getting to be the luckiest girl ever.
Clearly she can be seksi….
Tell me this doesn’t look like a younger version of Anastasia Steele…?
3. Emilie Clark. I am fucking OBSESSED with her (and Game of Thrones.)
Blonde or brunette, it doesn’t matter she’s soooo hot.
Tell me that’s not your plane jane but striking Ana?!
Ok seriously, time to get back to my reading. Sorry if I don’t blog again for another month… it’s E. L. James’ and her mid life crisis’ fault!